As the song goes, todays the day the teddy bears have their picnic. But just who exactly will lead that picnic. That’s the question being answered by the Irish People. There’s a lot of support for Independent candidates who are claiming they’re part of the Unified Left or the Splintered Right, or the Up yours in the Middle, but whatever happens it looks like we’re going to be lead by a man called Enda Kenny. Whether his middle name is “the World”, making it Enda The World Kenny, is yet to be seen. And sharing your surname with a constantly deceased member of the South Park cartoon, well maybe I’m just being pessimistic. Anyway, here’s a clip of our future leader appearing on Political Idol, being grilled by the lovely Simon Cowell
Despite the fact that we’re slowly sliding down the slopes of economic disaster much like the toys in Toy Story 3, when they were clinging to each other in that brave way that made grown man weep (or at least I wept, not sure about the grown man bit), we’ll always find some way to pop the bubble of our own pompousness. The fact that there’s a new Dublin Terminal at the Airport is a cause for concern. We really need to find a new name for places of arrival in this country. Welcome to the end of our Country. In an attempt to justify spending 165 Quagillion pounds on the new storage space for shiny floors and glass, Dublin airport made an ad. It’s worth the fact they made the ad, just so we could watch Barry Murphy shred it to pieces.
The Real one
THE END OF THE WORLD…OR THE ONE SHOW AT LEAST
This is the potential danger of live TV. There you are, interviewing the lovely lovely Tamsin Grieg, when suddenly the Klaxons start going off, and before you even think that Klaxons are the new enemy of Doctor Who, they’ve evacuated the building in front of your very eyes. Is that how they’ll react when it’s the End of the World? A flustered smile and a banal whippet of a leaving comment, “I’m sorry, we have to cut away from our interview with Peter Andre and leave the Station as North Korea have just launched a nuclear weapon at our station. Oh Kim Jong Il, you cheeky chappy you!”. They better get some scriptwriters in, the kind that write for Morgan Freeman, in fact I think when it’s the end of the world, it should be announced by Morgan Freeman. We would all happily lope along to infinite vaporisation if ol’ Red lulled us along.
WHY IRELAND NEEDS MARTIN SHEEN AS TAOISEACH
Ok, so as an unapologetic fan of the West Wing, there are so many moments I could have chosen from that show to highlight how good it would be to have Mr. Sheen as our leader, but the one where he nails an ignorant talk show host posing as a doctor to the wall of her own insipid literal interpretation of the bible is the most inspired. So, here we are, Vote for Sheen.
OTHERWISE VOTE MICKEY ROURKE
In an interesting development, Bavaria beer thought this was the perfect time to combine Irish Political posters, Beer and Whiplash from Iron Man 2,(or Mickey Rourke to the layman) So there has been some confusion in the Irish streets as posters featuring the former pugilist have made appearances on Dublin streets. But you know what for a second, I thought, yeah, I’d vote for him. But you have to see the full television ad to appreciate the subtleties the man would bring to a head to head with Sinn Fein in the Dail. Oh yeah!
And just to add the icing to the cake, in a week of gloom and doom, rising oil prices and the potential for the whole of the Middle East to just throw in the Armageddon towel, Radiohead come along with a new album. Yes, that’s just what we need. As part of a BBC Radio music show, I was asked to come up with a suggestion for a new holiday day, instead of Valentines Day. So Radiohead Day, take a bow. A day, where all you hear is Radiohead, wherever you go. Oh yes! And as for Thom Yorkes dancing! Perfect. However, just to make it a light end to the day, here’s Thoms hips dubbed to Beyonces words! Nice.